Boboy

Dear Boboy..
Boboy dah tak yah suffer lagi.. Boboy dah berada disampingnya.. Aries tak sangka.. It would be so fast... There r still plenty of things for us to catch up on.. Things to share.. Things to laugh at.. Tapi.. Dah tak de time.. That day.. Last Monday.. U joked.. U laughed.. U smiled.. I was very glad i could witness all that though.. U were slurring n we couldn't understand u stm.. We talked abt Reservist.. Abt food.. Abt hanging out.. Abt wings concert.. It was.. D last of d happy times... Thank u.. For those memories.. For enduring ur pain n suffering.. Jus to joke and entertain us... Yesterday.. I was glad.. I didn't run errands as wat I planned to.. I made my way to d hosp.. Upon reaching.. I saw u grunting.. Making noises and I wasn't sure if u known was there.. I called out to u.. But u jus kept quiet.. Looked up.. N jus made those sounds once in a while.. D nurse came n said they had to chk ur diapers n turn u around.. I went out .. I heard u cry.. It sounded so sad and helpless.. Then I heard u called 'mak'.. Using d last bit of energy that u had.. I feel so sad..helpless that I could do anything.. As I sat by d side crying.. Ur mum came.. I wiped my tears.. Don't wan her to c me cry.. For she had been so strong.. Going thru all this.. After a while we could come in.. We jus looked at u.. Stroking ur arm once in a while.. U kept offering ur hand to ur mum. she held on.. U kept making sounds.. Mayb telling her u cannot hold on much longer... But she couldn't understand.. She said ,'boy asal macam Gini.. Besok nak balik..' little did we all know.. U did balik boy.. To our Creator.. Allah SWT... She was happy that u could go home.. She took a wk off work so that she can look after u.. On Wednesday she went to learn how to feed u thru the tube.. she went chattering on happily.. Hopeful that u'll get better. I wanted to share with her how wonderful a mother she is to Boboy.. Told her Boboy shared with us that she has magical hands.. He said that whenever magrib.. He'll have headaches.. N said he'll hv to quickly look for Mak.. Coz Mak has magical hands that wen she put her hand on his forehead.. His pains were 'settle'.. That's wat he said.. I turned away after telling her that.. Moments later She cried as she tells me of times when Boboy was sick.. He was very clingy to her.. Wanted her to b there at the hospital all d time but she told him.. That she had to work.. Before i left.. I said my gdbyes to Cik Munah and u Boboy.. Cik Munah said oh u were sleeping coz u were snoring.. Those ur last moments..

Cik Munah called me after buka.. Told me that u have turned blue and doctor r trying to revive u.. I know uncouldnt make it boy.. Coz when d doc allowed u to go home.. It means.. There's no hope.. But I jus couldn't bear to tell Cik Munah..I hd wished so much for u to get better.. Play with my kids.. Chill.. Catch up.. But it jus didn't happen..

At ur funeral today.. Lots of ur frens came by.. U r well loved by all.. All had high praises of u.. Cik Munah.. She was devastated.. She's alone.. But we'll try to keep her company boy.. U r d link that links us together.. Without u..:((( I still m coming to terms with ur demise Boboy.. We literally grew up together!! A brother that I never had!!

Allah SWT sayangkan Boboy.. Selamat tinggal Boboy... Al fateha

Boboy

My dear Boboy.. Telah pergi.. Al fateha

My cousin..

Boboy my cousin.. Please fight on.. Be that 10%.. we love u boy..:((

Ain't good

Ain't feeling gd .. Y.. Coz I whacked Ub jus now in sch.. After sitting down n doing some self reflections.. I was guilty.. Whacking wasn't d answer.. I whacked him coZ I wasn't happy wif what he did.. N also coZ I don wan ppl to say how bad my boy is.. But that's not d way.. I bring up my child my way n not bcoz wat others say..

Shall remember that!!!

-ariesseira-

Latest family member!!

Abang n kakak

Abang n kakak had choc ice cream.. It was so nice to c abang cleaned kakak's mouth and told her 'dah clean already' n kakak walked away after that.. So heartwarming.. Great job abang!!

-ariesseira-

Blogging again

I hope to blog again.. But time is really not in my side now..

So for now I can jus do a fast blog.. Thru email..

Busy busy busy

With work.. Kids..

Still trying to juggle..

D first week of work was a riot.. Chaos.. Knocked out everytime I reach home..

This is d second wk n I hope i can try organize n juggle my time...

Insya Allah..

-ariesseira-

Mother of 3

Tough n Challenging.. Gonna take my well deserved shower n get ready before d kids wake up!

-ariesseira-

Enjoy

Njoying wats left of my maternity with my dearest

-ariesseira-

My resolutions

- to breastfeed fully
- spend more time educating my kids
- b more patient with uv
- dekatkan diri dgn Allah
- handle more housewife's duties
- save n bring d kids for hols once a yr
- don buy clothes for kids every month..
- cook more nutritious food for ub
- b more understanding to sen:)
- control my diet!!
Insya Allah

-ariesseira-

Food!!

Dinner for today! Chicken pasta with brocoli for both abang and adik!! First time serving Zahra pasta.. Hope she likes it!!

Getting into d routine

I m so beat!!
Mayb bcoz d date is nearing.. I'm heavier.. Work to be done to meet datelines.. Cooking for d kids.. Lugging them to sch with this heavy self.. But I'm thankful I'm able to do all this.. N I'm very thankful that I have my helpful parents.. N my always there husband who does d housechores.. Handling d
Kids.. Driving us to n fro to sch..he's always there.. Syukur alhamdulillah...

The kids are all right.. I always get very worried when they fall sick.. It hurts me!! To c them sick.. Not their usual self:(

I'd been trying to get them used to a routine n syukur alhamdulillah .. They r getting into it... It's tiring but.. Worth it.. N sen will help me whenever he can.. I hope this routine stays so that it will b easier got me too when d baby comes..

After school .. Reach home.. It's dinner time for both.. Depends.. STM zahra first or ub.. Vice versa.. Yeah ub can eat on his own but feeding him bonds me n him.. We talk during mealtimes.. For Zahra.. Her mealtime is also play time.. She'll walk ard but will come back for her food...so it's fine with me.. After dinner it's time to wash up.. A bit of tv time .. Then sleep... It's easier to put Zahra to sleep now n while zahra sleeps I get to spend some time with Ub.. Watch tv n explain to him d
Happenings ard him etc..

I'm starting my ML next wk.. Wanna start early coz I nd to buy stuffs to stock up.. It's diff to do it after delivery.. Nd to settle ub's religious class.. N some other stuffs.. N also have some me time before d baby arrives..

It's our 6th on d eve of Xmas.. Fast huh! On new yr, we r going for a concert.. Just d two of us.. Hope 2011 is a great yr for us insya Allah!! Amin...

-ariesseira-

Cannot imagine

Well, our ppl made d news again.. For d wrong reasons.. D child who died.. Is Ub's age.. He had bruises on his body.. Injuries in d brain.. His leg was broken in 8 parts.. Ya Allah.. I jus cannot imagine!! Wat was that fella thinking? Didn't he feel anything.. Danish Iman was jus a kid.. He has many yrs ahead of him.. But we'll nvr know.. Mayb Allah take him away coz he wasn't looked after properly in life.. He is in a better place.. N I hope that fella who did this to him.. Will get wat he deserves.. Al fateha

Words

At 10 coming to 11 mths.. Zahra can say
-kick
-catch
-ahbu(ibu)
-ayah
-papapa (grandpa)
-Mamama (grandma)

Food for Zahra

Today I cooked
-silverfish n carrots porridge
-lentils n chix with brown rice
-apple and pear purée
-tofu, salmon n broccoli with brown n normal rice

For Zahra's breakfast lunch and dinner...
Must get more containers.. For her fruit purees.. Got to serve her more
Fresh veggies to up her immunity system..

-ariesseira-

Wedding

Today is d wedding of a dear friend.. Though we don contact each other most of d time.. But we r still close.. Dunno how to explain that.. We were sec sch mates.. We were not that close in sch too but i remembered.. D time he walked with Yantty n Sen decided to walk with me to pair up.. Those nice memories.. Bringing tears to my eyes.. He was stuck up in sch but after knowing him better.. He is often misunderstood.. He n his bro r always nice smelling.. U know y?? Coz his mum works in metro marina and she Always get them perfumes.. He is a romantic at heart.. How I know that.. Coz he was yantty's bf for a while.. But things don work out.. Coz Yantty hmmm was young at that time i guess.. He got her a big v card.. Gave her a Tiffany soap that Yantty kept .. Till only recently she threw it away.. I know deep in yantty's heart.. He holds a special place.. Even till now.. He's dear to her n i know she regrets her actions towards him d last time.. Well i guess it's meant to b.. I'm happy for him that he's married now.. To d one he love dearly.. Finally true love for u fi.. I remembered u had a cash-flow prob n I dig my piggy bank for u ehheh.. Gave u coins!! Those memories.. Light up my life.. Congrats babe!! I'm jus so so happy for u!!

This notty boy!

Ub hadn't had much attention from us since Zahra fell sick d other day.. At one point of time he told me he wanted to b sick just like Zahra.. That really saddens me..

He had been misbehaving lately and I know it's a cry for attention.. The wrong way!! Ya Allah!! Soon I have to split my attention into three..

I hope and want to give my utmost attention to my kids.. Each of them are different individuals and I have to get to know their individual needs and wants...

Friday and Saturday are closure at sch.. No sch for Ub n Zahra but still work for me.. Zahra will b staying home with grandma coz ayah is away on reservist.. While Ub will be coming to work with me.. I hope these two days I get to give as much attention as I can to him.. Hight on Saturday and mayb I'll try to squeeze in a movie after that..

Since d ayah will b away for the whole wknd too.. I got to find ways to occupy them.. I know my smil will wanna have Ub over.. But I was thinking mayb not this wk.. I wanna spend time with him.. N mayb try together with Zahra too..

Hope this works..

I love u abang no matter how notty u r.. I still do.. Like I always say.. Coz ur my special first.. While Zahra is my special second:)..

New hobby

This lil gal has jus recovered from her fever... Phew... It breaks my heart whenever she or her bro is down.. Well who doesn't right! D sleepless nights of sponging.. Meds.. Cuddling.. Drained us out.. I'm so glad that I have an understanding hub and very helpful parents n siblings.. They help out when these happen..

Though she is well.. She's not drinking her milk from d bottle and has to be spoon fed.. Wonder if it's the bottle or her teeth that is making her irritable..

Her new hobby of 'bongkar' her yellow basket seems to keep her occupied for now.. One thing abt Zahra.. She can concentrate on tasks/activities for quite a while compared to the bro..

Hmmm looks like I jus have to b prepared to clean up d mess after her!!

Finally discharged

I was finally discharged on Monday afternoon.. After almost 5days in d hosp.. My sugar level was still a bit erratic but I really really wanna go home.. Worried for my kids.. Worried for mama n sen..

Sen had been a great help.. He has always been a great help.. Send d kids to sch.. Visit me.. Pick them up.. Send them home.. Spent time and settled their stuffs then visit me in d hosp again.. I don think he had enough rest...

After I came back home.. Zahra showed signs of falling sick.. True enough she fell sick and is still sick.. I hope ub won't get it from her as both of them r very close.. Ub will b constantly kissing and hugging her while she prefers to sleep next to him.. I'd been vomit on countless of time.. We both had sleepless nights n I have to take another day or urgent leave today as I dun think her fever is getting any better.. N sen is going down as well:((.. Will bring her to d gp if it doesn't goes down.. No more kk.. The meds they give normally don work:(

So worried for Zahra.. Hopefully d fever breaks tomoro...

Another day again!!

It sure is frustrating but I must control my emo coz the emo can raise d sugar level in my blood..

Jus came back from d walk to burn d sugars.. Bought these mags and newspapers to keep me occupied and keep my spirits high too... Hopefully today's medicine dosage help to bring down d sugar level ..

I must have not been exercising for a long time.. Coz after walking three rounds of d kampung java park my face is as red as a beetroot!! Ya Allah.. When was d last time I was that red faced?? I think hmmm when I was in amore in 2006 before I got to know I was preys with ub.. I should start... No scrap that I MUST START!!!