Jacob Ballas Garden

Had half a day @ Jacob Ballas Garden wif d kids..
Regrets didnt bring Ayubi there =(
Mayb this wkend..missing him already..

Ayubi n Grandpa

I love watching Papa and AYubi bonding together..
Papa is just like Tok Ayah..
Very much..

Hmmm wonder how's Papa coping with my active clockwork..
They're out.. visiting Cik Din =)
Hmmm wonder wat that uncle of mine has to say when he meets Ayubi..
He's a grandfather now..
He should behave better.insya allah..

Sleepless on a Wednesday Nite

I am so critical here..i cant help i t..
Made me regret being so willing ..yes mayb i had no choice .. but i could have made the choice that i wanted .. i didnt make that choice .. n it just adds on ...

I couldnt sleep last night ..i miss nenek ..mental pictures of her .. her voice ..kept coming back to me ..
D episode where i had complications during Ayubi's birth ..i remembered .. waking up and saw her at the foot of the bed .. crying .. i couldnt help crying myself .. i was so scred .. lost dunno whats gonna happen ...she cried .. n cried..
D episode where .. i had cold chendol .. and she said 'Nenek bilang Mokhsen, Aries munim air sejuk ...' i rebutted, 'Abih Nenek minum kopi .. nanti Aries bilang Cik Yah'...=) brought tears and smiles at d same time ..

Its sad to see things happening after her departure .. some were for d better ...some... was not a nice sight to c or even stories to hear ... it sure disappoints me .. ah well ... this is the harsh reality of life ...

al fateha buat nenek ..
we miss u =(

Saturday @ Kampung Glam

My lil fam went to Arab St.. to get material for d coming Raya.
aha puasa belum.. baju raya dah buat.. kiasuness..
As usual Momo cannot stand my haggling over d diff materials..
he and Ayubi waited for me by the roadside..
Me being a woman.. took my time choosing the materials..
In d end.. pick the same as Buddy's but in diff colour..

No plans for d day.. so decided to take a walk along Arab St.
I remembered when i was young.. Papa n Mama.. would take me and Nana..
To arab st.. to walk walk.. i remembered d bakul2 shop.. the bakul2 shop is still there now..we would walk and take photos of the old shophouses..Papa would tell us stories about shophouses ..who stays there.. some snippets of history that he know..
Hmmmm Papa.. a sucker for histories.. n politics hahaha

So we walked..wanted to have a tour of d SUltan Mosque.. but was not in the proper attire=( Ayubi pointed here and there.. mumbling in his own language..
Went to Kampung Glam..wanted to view d gallery there.. before realising that we don have enough cash.. dat is the thing abt me n Momo.. we rely too much on our atm cards ...we don withdraw money coz we always have this thinking that we can find an atm nearby.. well tough luck for us this time..
So wat was left for us to do? Hmm just walk around.. Ayubi wanted to be carried ..didnt wanna walk..

'Ayah, ri pls' --> Ayah carry pls
so we umpan him wif the umbrella i brought along (d sky was grey u c..)
Told him thats it's an umbrella.. he mumbled mumbled..

'wah wah..'

His favourite..most tods favourite.. water 'Ay.ey..ayey..'

Made him walk on d grass but he ran quickly to Momo..

AFter all that.. went Clementi for late lunch.. n home sweet home..
Wanted to fetch Cik Ida back from HongKong..but Ush came.. Mama's asleep so we had to entertain them... Ayubi called Iin 'Adik adik..' like he is d abang.. ahhaha

The Many Strollers..

My hands' itching again..to get Ayubi.. a new stroller hahah
Papa is sure gonna yell at me..
Currently Ayubi is using Quinny Zapp.. though it folds to like an arm's length..
its heavy..
And kinda diff to carry ard if i'm out alone with him..
He has a Maclaren Volo at his Nenek's house for those short trips to the market..
And another Quinny Speedi in a box hahaha..
It was a present from his Ummie and Grandma.. nak jual sayang..
So still in a box..hmmmm
Tot of getting the Maclaren quest mod.. hmmm
Hmmmmm

26th June 08 Thurs Mama's bday..

Mama and Papa..hmmm i so so wanna be like them..d happier parts..d giler2 parts...


Mama n her only son...


Mama and her 2 daughters.. 1 big 1 small ahhaha

Momo and Hams.. not around.. both night shift...

Papa bought her the cake..we bought her a batignolle.. kopak sak..but ok la once a yr.. hahhaha love u Mama..though u sometimes like d wind.. often angin hehehe

The New Member..

After much deliberation..

Welcome to another gadget to add to my collection of gadgets..

-ariessen.ayubi-

hmmm i think thats the last purchase for this month...oooopps..

Urgent Leave wif Bi

Fetched Bi last night..
Auntie said he was running a slight fever.. but boy was he still active!
Miss my Bi.. he was excited to go home..
Sat in the taxi..ooohing..and ahiiing at things...
My clever Bi..
At home.. no more fever.. but the runs... ooh.. poor Bi.. but he was cool..
Everytime he pooed.. he would just say 'Yak yak...' and would head to the toilet..tugging his diapers..
Took urgent leave today..to care for my sick Bi.. fever back again.. vomitted once and runs again..
Was so afraid that he would get stomach flu.. but it all died down by late noon.. so wasnt worried as much..
Time spent at home wif him.. priceless..
We kinda got in a routine.. woke up.. play.. breakfast.. milk then sleep...
Wake up... shower... play..play..lunch...then sleep...
He is such a pleasure to watch...
He fed himself for breakfast today.. was fun to watch him.. hahaha though it gets messy..
Its common ..like d todds in sch...
My Bi.. growing up =)

..SCooop..Scooopp...

In yer mouth..

..Plenty of water to wash down all that food...

..Let's surf the web... like Ibu

..Don forget yer sunnies when you go out!..

Miss him..

Though.. we had 2 solid days with Ayubi..
I think it wasnt enough... i'm missing him now and am contemplating of picking him up and bringing him home.. but Momo has to send him back tomoro mornin.. n i'm afraid Momo would be too tired to do so.. =(..
Hmmmm

I miss u Bibi..

Remember..

16th June 08 Monday..
Is truly a day to remember..
Ayubi was locked in d car..alone!
As usual.. Momo is being himself..
d blur..forgetful being he always is..
No matter how blur or forgetful he is.. i still love him loads..
Sent me to work..After putting Ayubi in d carseat... He slam shut d back door and d door auto locked..
Luckily..my workplace and our house were nearby..Called Papa and got him to bring his set of keys down..
I was near to tears.. poor Bibi.. all alone..
Luckily he whined abit.. called fer AYah.. n tadaaa.. Papa came.. running from d pathway all to my workplace..
Momo was so angry with himself..
So i went back to work.. Momo drove Papa back and sent Ayubi to his Nenek's..
Called Auntie during lunchtime n asked how's Ayubi.. did he had nightmare while having his nap.. or was he cranky etc..
Auntie said he was fine.. played wif Aisah..Afifah and Al'ya..
Oh so d cousins were there.. great.. =)..


Well..back from Malacca.. d kampung stay was scary aha.. me being the wuss.. had to get Nabila or Atin to accompany me in d toilet during d night showers or to the car just to get stuffs.. it was eerie la ..hahah
But we enjoyed d trip..Ayubi was d king in car.. Papa n Mama allowed him to roam..climb.. jump etc in d car.. they didnt put him in his carseat.. he was literraly allowed to do watever he want..
A'famosa.. sucks.. d water ..euww dirty..but d time spent wif d half of the Yahya family was well priceless..
I remembered we went A'famosa..years back..i was single at that time.. Momo was playing d hard to get game..Yantty tagged along.. oh yeah we slept at the kampung too..

Yantty.. i miss her.. as usual.. things are always not d same after marriage.. different commitmen and priorities..Yafith..hmmm getting engage soon.. happy fer him.. though deep inside i wished for the impossible aha!

Oh well..have yet to get kain for our baju kurung.. n i wanna get a big bag for raya.. to fit Momo's..Ayubi's and my stuffs..

Hmmm pink and brown... hmmmm

Stilll...

Poppy Red came to visit me..
It is uncomfortable to change in d public toilets or someone else's place..
So i dragged Momo to Cik yah's place.. to pee and change myself..

After d changing episode.. subconciously.. i found myself walking to Abil's room.. the room where Nenek spent her last few moments with me..looked around the room.. not much changes.. everything were pretty much the same..
Opened her cupboard..n saw her clothes were replaced with Naziha's pretty coloured dresses..then it hit me.. again... Nenek wasnt around anymore...
So many events and happenings but Nenek is not around to enjoy and celebrate it wif us =(.

Nenek al fateha buat Nenek.. yg sentiasa Aries
sayang..


_________________________________________

Had fun yesterday.. hahahhaha yesterday was indian mode.. *private joke!*
the girls were hilarious.. including Boy and Momo.. Boy and Momo seems to be in d same crazy frequency.. yeah la anak tak de so feeling single right.. till d next outing =)

June..d Many Birthdays..

-Insyirah
-Nana and
-Naufal....

Hmmm wat to get fer them..
Nana's settled.. Naufal more or less i have in mind wat to get for him.. left SYirah.. that cerewet maknenek... hmmmm

Batam trip sucks.. was so disappointed.. but we enjoyed each other's company.. though we would have enjoyed more if we were given the things we paid for..
sienz=(

Presents...

Momo is never good with pressies...
He's always like 'U buy first then claim from me ok..'..
So i 'warned' him early this yr.. i dun wanna buy and claim.. i wan him to buy..
be it bday presents or any other presents..
So yes it was different.. we had a walk at the nearest mall aha!..
We walked into a watch shop.. i wanted to c..d emporio i missed..
He asked d price for a nautica chrono..he said he liked it.. i said it was cool.. n it started..
Momo:'u said its cool.. n i like it so i shall get it for u..'
Aries:'hmm..but i don go diving.. and its really huge..let me consider..'
Momo:'No its either now or not.. quick..'
Aries:'I like d smaller one'
Momo:'ok done. ..somethin diff this time'
Aries:'yeah by threatening =('

After much hagglng..like maknenek... he got me or rather he got us.. d non diver nautica.. thks eh =) for d watch n d g bag..=) love love..

Susssheeeee!!

The buddy and I.. love having our monthly makan sessions.... we were so in need of one this wk... but our schedule just doesnt allow it.. with her classes clashing wif mine and vice versa..

n so.. we kinda did something that we were not suppose to.. but we did it anyway hahaha..

We were so craving for sushi and yeah that monthly makan session.. an hr of makan was enough! hahahah we did it chop chop!!

An hour of makan...an hr of updates.. gossip..chatchat abt d past..it was a great bonding session.. thk u buddy..

I know i dun thank u buddy enough.. d things that u do for me..thk u is never enough.. love u buddy!!

Pink!!

I just love pink on him hahah.. to date he only has two pink tops hahhaha..

maybe should consider pink for raya.. like d Ayah suggested..

Dinner on Thursday..

Was thinking about that someone who called me a alsterk.

When she said that straight in my face.. i was like 'wow hold on here..' yeah n so she said in a 'friendly' manner but i was taken aback..

What the hell did i do to get that calling from u?
Its frustrating.. coz i'm sure i didnt do that!

K n so ur direct.. but i dun think i deserve that calling.. coz like i said I"M SURE I DIDNT DO WAT A alsterk DOES!!

Tapi tak pe..

Lucky my Momo got his nite's off.. n so off to Teh Tarik for a bowl of mee pok with hot pipping soup.. yummey.. and his was minced chicken noodle.. double yummey..

Hope tomorrow brings me a better day =)

Ayubi and his milestones

My Ayubi is growing..being in d early childhood industry.. i tot i would be even more particular abt Bi's development.. but i was surprise that i'm not.. d Ayah is.. n so true to wat Tin said...haha... but just for the record.. since i'm starting to blog here again.. here's Bi's development milestones..



Developmental Milestones at 13mths



Social Emotional

• Not shy with strangers


• Cries when mother or father leaves


• Enjoys imitating people in his play


• Shows specific preferences for certain people and toys


• May be fearful in some situations (only when d Ayah gets angry)


• Prefers father and/or regular caregiver over all others


• Repeats sounds or gestures for attention


• Finger-feeds himself


• Extends arm or leg to help when being dressed

Movement

• Assumes hands-and-knees position


• Creeps on hands and knees


• Pulls self up to stand


• Walks holding on to furniture


• Can walk on his own


• Pulls toys behind her while walking


• Carries large toy or several toys while walking


• Stands on tiptoe


• Kicks a ball


• Climbs onto and down from furniture unassisted


• Walks up and down stairs holding on to support


• Scribbles spontaneously
  

Language

• Pays increasing attention to speech


• Responds to simple verbal requests


• Responds to "no"


• Uses simple gestures, such as shaking head for "no"


• Babbles with inflection


• Says "Ayah,mama, nenek, dada, ummi, gempa(grandpa), gemma(grandma), mimme(give me), meh (cat = meow), pu(lampu), lights, car, nak, pis(pls), ustaka(kamustaka'how r u' in tagalog), hmmm cant remember anymore for now =)


• Uses exclamations, such as "Oh-oh!"


• Tries to imitate words


• Recognizes names of familiar people, objects and body parts

Cognitive

• Explores objects in many different ways (shaking, banging, throwing, dropping)


• Finds hidden objects easily


• Looks at correct picture when the image is named


• Imitates gestures


• Begins to use objects correctly (drinking from cup, brushing hair, dialing phone, listening to receiver,kick the ball)

Ayah's and Ibu's Ayubi

Complications..

On Sunday.. an article in d Berita Minggu caught my eye..
d one about d lady giving birth and was bleeding nonstop after dat.. it reminded me of my birth story...

A yr and 2 months and a few days back..
..i started my maternity leave.. an advance one..so it was 27th March 07.. I missed my mornin check up so i turned up for the evening one...
..Adrian.. upon checking my cervix said that i have to be admitted that night..11pm..hahha
Told him if i can delay.. he said cant coz baby's big.. that made me panic a bit.. but was ok.. n so.. told Sen wat Adrian said.. went Nenek's(Sen's) house a while.. cant remember for wat.. went to the Shengshiong near Aisah's place and got cocnuts..drank it in d car while smsing my aunts mum dad n all about my updates.. was feeling excited n scared at the same time.. went home paced up n down.. pack my e-bag.. n rest.. Sen had his magrib n isyak prayers..tot of going to TMC straight from home..but Mak called n asked to come over n have fishball noodle soup..went over..due to d feeling that i had.. i hadnt been eating anythin ..so had a bit of fishball noodle soup.. made our way to TMC... stopped fer petrol n kitkat..n batteries.. n continued our journey.. parked d car n registered.. while Sen settle the stuffs..i was brought to the delivery ward.. was feeling worried n scared as my support wasnt there.. they put me on the CTG machine.. d midwife/nurse said baby's heartbeat was tacky..didn know wat it meant..Adrian came..checked my cervix and broke my waterbag.. a squirt of enema and before i could say anything i could feel everything comeing out.. rushed to d toilet ...saw trails of blood n d amniotic fluid..came back n was hooked on the CTG machine again.. it was after a while that i was asked to go to the delivery ward.. Sen came..time was about 11.45pm.. the midwives came n put drips n all those things on me.. no pain..still can relax..12am.. no pain..1am.. d contractions start to come slowly.. my cervix was only 2cm...145am.. d contractions start to come hard.. it was painful.. breathe heavily..like how Kak wirdi taught me to do..at every breath i read d surah mariam... with Sen holding my hand.. and reciting some doas for me to follow..used d gas but wanted to puke bcoz of the smell.. time seems to past pretty fast.. i dunno y.. 4am.. d irritating midwife cam and checked me..4cm dilated.. only 4???ah....asked for epidural.. was cryin in pain.. n dissappointment that it was only 4.. d aethe watever came.. he was nice...epidural was.. painless.. hahaha but i keep jerkin.. or rather shiver.. the side effect and Sen was laughing at me.. everytime a contraction or rather contractions came.. Sen had to massage my feet.. hahahah that made me feel better..6am ..7cm..730am.. d midwives.. said i was ready.. tried to push but i couldnt feel d contractions coming.. even when they reduced the epidural..8am Adrian came.. baby didnt wanna come out.. he tried d vacumm and then the forceps.. n baby was delivered at 823am...
i was.. speechless.. d feelings ...i jus cannot describe the feelings.. baby was cleaned up while i was sew down there.. Adrian took a long time n i could actually feel the needle!! ouch!!! finally the whole ordeal ended.. stayed a while in the delivery ward..was tired..after like about 30mins.. iw as wheeled to the ward..

i was ok.. feeling fine..but had no apetite.. cant eat..2 days later was discharged.. it was exciting..having a baby.. looking after him...n all.. i was discharged on wednesday.. on friday morning..i was bleeding blood clots.. n so the whole day i jus lay on d bed and rest..sleep all day long.. was ok in d evening...yantty came n visit..chitchat..gossiped n all..asked around on d blood clots n ppl said oh its the dirty blood thats clearing and its good... saturday i was fine too.. Sunday.. i bled again.. it was terrible..lots n lots of blood.. i fainted..everyone at home panic.. i felt terrible.. Nana called d ambulance..i was cold n shivery.. half concious but was aware of wats happening ard me.. refused to be sent to hosp.. but no choice.. d medics said i was losing lots of blood... reached A n E.. it was a bumpy ride.. d docs on duty fiddled me here and there...i was feeling very cold..two blankets and an additional warm one.. didnt help..was wheeled into the normal ward.. where a prof came and see me.. said that they suspected i had some placenta bits still in my womb and i had to have an op fast..3omins later ther wheeled me into d operating theatre.. i felt terrible.. didnt know if i would survive the op.. cried ..think of Ayubi.. Sen.. my great family.. my grandma,. my aunts..d people in the ops theatre was playing a song by Clay Aiken..soon.. i was unconcious..

..Woke up..heard ppl around me saying that my blood pressure was low.. was asked my name n ic no.. wheeled in d ward.. saw nenek.. nenek mon..auntie..bapak.. n my aunties.. i cried n they cried too..it was so sad..was too tired... so i slept after they left.. woke up n aisah came..but was too tired.. slept abit more.. after everyone left.. just sat wif sen n talked.. cried when he wanted to go home..i felt so..lost..scared..he just hugged me...told me its ok to cry..
i was angry..angry wif adrian..negligence on his part?? i was confused..three days later was discharged..Adrian.. not apologetic at all...i could have died..300grm of placenta in me.. i could have lost everythin and there's no word of sorry from him..nothing..will nvm..mayb he will get his desserts...

but for now.. syukur alhamdullilah i was saved.. i'm still alive.. i can still care for my baby.. my dearest hub...spend time wif my dearest family.. se d passing of my beloved grandma..

but i'm so sorry for Kak Julia's auntie.. d one who was in the article...only 30mins of happiness wif d newborn..n she bled ..organs failed n finally she left the world to see her maker..i was nearly in her position.. al fateha buatnya.. yg telah pergi..

Ayubi..our son...

Ayubi..growing..

Today i turned 27yrs..


Today is tion's anniversay..


Today is nenek's 99th days..


Today Misha is born...





Lots of things happen today..


My bday never fail to be accompanied by tears...


As i remembered my dear fren.. who left us on my bday itself..


I remembered his last words.. or rather his last email 'hey aries..i'm coming home... wait for me ya!'..


I emailed back 'yeah!! u're gonna be back at last..call me.. i'll be waiting..'


That call never came..y i didnt call.. coz u changed ur no..i waited waited..


Till that dreadful sms came..reading it once seems like a normal sms about condolences n stuffs...


Second time..d keywords were highlighted...excel...holland..third time i cant control my tears.. i was shaking..i kneeled coz i was weak like jelly.. i dunno if i was to cry .. was dumbfounded...


Called Nizam to confirm n he said yes... called Sen..cryin..suddenly all those words about jumpin.. leaving d world..came to mind...



It seems so surreal...



Few days later ur bro called n confirm everythin.. shed a bit of light on wat happened... she must have felt d worst..if i were in her shoes,... i wouldnt forgive myself..



al fateha buat Nasution Jumaat..dat dear fren of mine.. who apart from Sen.. kept me sane n footed to d ground..



mary.m msned ..its d day snip snip .... so she filled me in.. misha had to be delivered today at 1.. told her i wan to meet her b4 she gave birth.. but rushin to the pusara.. thomson n carousel.. seems a bit rushin n so told mirza.. would take a rain check.. n visit her at home when she's more relaxed n not tired anymore..



tears were flowin non stop on d way to pusara.. nenek's 99th days..who would have tot it was that fast... n soon nenek will be far away from us.. but always near to our hearts.. n always in our doas.. Sen did d usual recitations..shared wif me a bit abt cryin di pusara...Sen never fail to amaze me wif his knowledge of Islam..i know he's trying real hard to get me more involve inbeing agood muslim n all.. i m trying.. but i know not hard enough..i;m proud of Sen.. he's a diff man..from d time i know him.. got engaged.. being a husband .. n d man in d house,, he is so diff.. he changed.. for d better..syukur alhamdullilah...

well wat i wish for on my birthday?
insya allah to be a better muslim..

al fateha buat yg telah pergi.....