Its 4.50am

... ir eally dunno wat de hell i'm doin up in d wee hrs of d mornn.. actually.. hmmm i fell asleep at abt 10pm...had a bad dream n woke up... feelin sleepy but i feel that i shoul post this up b4 i ferget... d bad dream... losing all my closest fren... hmmm in d dream... i dreamt of Tinibear.. we were kind of argued n we kept argueing..till she did somethin to me.. hehehe aka 'Nathan's stunt'.. n dat made it worst...imagine workin in d same place together side by side but we don talk... well dat happen in dat dream...i woke up..sat n thought abt it... d feeling is so awful... i dn like it one bit...made me miss someone...

...i'm such an emotional freak...too soft hearted...for all d things she did to me... i fought wif meself abt callin her... wat was i thinkin??? i forgive easily... i kept thinkin to myself...mayb she did all this bcoz she was lost @ dat point of time...lost n blind n hungry... hungry for position.. blind to see wats happenin to our frenship and lost..whether she should choose between frenship or work?? but friendship == companionship...blah blah blah but work == money and money== lots of other tings... so mayb dat was y she choose work!!!

..well actually wat i want to say here is dat... i'd been spendin too much time @ home wif sen..wif meself... or wif sen's fam or my fam or @ work @ sch dat i failed my job as a friend to some of my other friends..who need me @ d time wen they r @ d lowest point of their life n i fail to help them!!! ARGHHHHH!!! some ppl said i spend too much time wif my frens.. WWHHYY?? bcoz my friends r somewhat like my family... i go out wi my friends i go out wif my family.. but i hadnt been doin dat lately.... argggghhh!!!!

...dear friends.. i'm really sorry if in this period of time i neglect u..or didnt spend much time wif u guys... i'll try my very best to adjust my time ...manage n organise my time properly ...

@ this point of tim
..i miss J Tin...d times we had...laffin our heads of...doin work wif tidbits all around...
..miss mariam... n d crazy things we do in sec sch...
.. my dearest mummy kambing...whom i really neglect..i'm so so sory...
n of coz... d yahya family d old yahya family...
..tok mat mak tok ayah...miss dem ...