Act3 with Yubs..Sara n Eni..

We spent the morning @ Act3.. it was fun..Teacher Juriah..was nice .warm and very engaging wif the kids..Sara n Ayubi were in separate class mayb coz i registered late.. Ayubi was fine during the warm up dancing and hummin to song.. but started to freeze when ppl were lookin at him.. insisted i hugged and cuddled hm.. but was ok after that.. he walked around d classroom.. did d singing..acting and imagination part of it.. putting up his hands and said 'my turn my turn' when Teacher Juriah asked if anyone wanted to get their turns at the ball..reading or just doing the body actions.. after an hr.. he was all tired out.. gave Teacher Juriah a hug and marched out of the classroom.. literally...

He was kinda in his own world.. saluting ppl.. marching and act as he was a soldier.. in a parade square.. it helps that the area does look like a parade square hahahah!! He really amazes me.. d person who started Act3 asked if i would enrol him since he was already doing the imagining thing and stuffs.. told her i just might...

I like that he was socialising in d class..d class was a routine and i like at the tot of that...but it is so..inaccessible.. hmmm maybe i would consider it again...after i get my license..to drive that is hahahha..

Sara liked her class too..Eni tot of enrolling her too.. but maybe hmmmm lets just source out for more trial classes n decide then..

So it was vivo next..Eni wanted to get vouchers fer her sil.. walked around.. was kinda diff at first coz..no stroller,,it was almost naptime.. AYubi's cranky already.. but it helps having Sara around.. she called out to Ayubi..they challenged each other by running or walkin faster..lunch was @ Earle's...d kids were gd.. ate.. ENi n I chatted...Feisal came n sent me n Yubi home...

Both kids conked out in d car.. they were pretty much tired out after the whole morning of activity..till d next playdate!!!

My Love...

Me..typing out my observations while.. Ayubi..watching Mickey Mouse clubhouse.. he sang-a-long the opening song.. n it was d cutest thing ever..

 

My the things he do..

Always surprises me!!

Not @yemyone anymore.. Now @endteeyou

I love weekends.. but i dread this wkend.. not d normal wknd..

After this wkend..i'm no longer travelling to yemyone for work.. instead it will be @ endteeyou..

God its hard...

Missing Ng, Nor..Chen.. n d people i'm missing most.. d children...

5 yrs.. they lit up my mornings.. wif cheery greetings, cries for mum/dad...fights, quarrels..writings..readings...

arguements..complains..vomit..watever u can link think of when i say 18mths to 6yr olds..

Parents.. though they can b shitty at times.. but d bond..built over 5 yrs is so strong.. that they cried when we said our final gdbyes...

It so surreal...5yrs passed so fast.. memories of me starting work with my best bud then is still fresh in my memory..

There's more to write.. but.. i guess i'll leave it at that...

2003 - 2008

It was good while it lasted..

School for Yubi...

Hmmmm.. plans were .. Yubi to attend d tods class @ yem yone with me..

But sad to say.. the lease ended.. and yem yone and us ...split..

Come 1st Dec.. i'm posted to NTU.. to begin a new life..yeah d distance's far..

But..i'm willing to put all that aside coz i'm taking d same level as my buddy!!!

NTU no tods class.. Sen is anal about d sch Yubi goes to.. this cannot..that cannot..

So for now d plan is to send him to a short hr prog on wkdays and wkends..

He's quite a handful now.. poor Auntie.. penat look after him.. so..playgroup in d morning..so that Auntie can have a few hours of freedom without him around..

It sure aint easy to look a playgroup ..i'm hmmm anal abt d curriculum hahahha..

Guess searcin thru the net is not as good as being there myself..

One of these days shall take leave and walk as a mystery shopper and see how's d curriculum like..

hehhehe

all for this precious one...

Pisses me off...

i hate that stupid liar liar pants on fire..
I had it..
I m so glad we are moving out of yem yone..
Wif stupid theraphy..liarliar..YX's mother..
Liarliar gave us a 'no' for if she feels welcome whenever she comes to the centre...
NG confronted her and she said ' well only u n TN would say good morning to me when i come'
F u!!U blind or deaf?? Or both??wat the hell was i doing when i see u then?
these yem yone ppl are so f ed up!!
5 years ..we were there..teach ur kids.. delivering the curriculum.. sharing our love n care..
n at the end of the 5 yrs this is wat we get??
i m so disappointed.. so so disappointed...
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH so frustating!!!

Raya came....

 

Spot the difference..

The first pic look kinda empty huh...

First raya without Nenek... d first raya i felt so empty...

We all met for a while.. i dunlike d kind arrangement we had that day..

it all happened so fast..

Taking the family pic was d most looked-forward event of d day...

Cousins...aunties would touch up their make up..uncles would set up their trpods and camera in order to get the best shot..

Families would scramble for the best 'seats' to get their faces properly shot by the cameras..

We wouls take a loooooong time.. but it was all fun...

This yr..it was pap...pap and done...

You'll nvr know when ur last moments will be right =(...

D eve of raya...i stayed home..coz i remembered Cik Ida said nenek would visit us...

D share of money i had for nenek... was donated to d mosque..in her name...

Al fateha buat nya...

Awful..

I dunno if i should feel affected or not..

But i guess ppl who knows me knows that i am already affected to begin with..

My heart is broken.. n i jus cant seem to pick up d pieces..

Well some ppl say it either break u or make u..

D instincts is to strong..ah heck it...silence doesnt mean ur right n i'm wrong...

lets just leave it as that.. as this.. fullstop...

Rindu..

here i am.. surfing the net while making cookies for raya..

couldnt help feeling empty..

i miss her.. she would call n ask.. "Aries buat kueh berapa macam tahun ni?"

And i would answer her accordingly..

Or.."Hari ni buka apa? Aries masak apa?"

I remembered...i used to tell her i couldnt cook.. i'm bad at it and she would retort ..

"Senang la nak masak.. masak apa? Ayam lemak cili padi? Senang... pergi beli.. nanti nenek masakkan..."

Now eventually when i can cook.. she's no longer around.. to taste my cooking...

Ayubi talks alot now.. once in a while he would call out "Nyang...nyang" or he would point out 'Nyang' in the photo..'Nyang carrying him'..

I'm sure his Nyang would be delighted to hear him talk.. to see him toddling here n there,..

But all his Nyang could witness was his birth.. his wailings.. his cryings.. colic.. where she tended to him..chatting with his ayah while his ibu surrended to tiredness...

Once in a while.. Sen would recall back that night where she shared her life wif him.. he was fortunate to hear all those stories..me? i guess i took her for granted..believed that she would stay longer..i was wrong...

whenever Sen shared wif me those stories.. i would cry buckets.. regrets.. that i took her for granted..

i've always tot i was second best to her.. little that i know... i was always d first.. d first in her eyes...

Years back it was during this time too..ramadhan.. she was here...she nagged...Nana n I.. we danced.. we called her nags techno music.. we danced to her nags.. but now... no nags to dance to..

This raya.. is diff..no nenek to hug..to salam.. to kiss.. to ask for forgiveness..told Sen that d money that is meant for nenek, is to b donated...

Yes life goes on..but its different.. just so different..

Nek.. Aries rindu...

I'm floating

Ah.. i cant describe my feelings.. i feel so YEAY!!!!
Finally the dreaded practicum by a certain person is over!!
Im over the moon!!
I can start baking kuehs now..
I was so afraid i would flunk.. coz a few of my peers flunked.. n i was so so afraid.. but now its all over.. and i passed!!! just need to settle my practicum folder n then i'm done.. anothe dip to add to d name =) yeah!!
And Bibi coming home tonight double yeay!!!
Cant wait to meet him!

ECE

I was very upset on Monday..
Very very upset..
Some people might think that its easy being the ECE field..

Yes some people might think ECE = teacher children ABC, count 123..lunch time let them eat.. show time, let them shower and go home time just say goodbye...

Well it don work that way honey!!

We attend to the child's physical, emotional, intellectual and social needs..
We play the roles of mummys and daddys too..

But apparently these people don see it that way....

Its not easy being in this field..
Attend to children's needs.. parents demands.. meet expectations..
The list just goes on..

My 9th yr in this field and never have i felt so drained.. never...

I don feel up to it anymore..
N having to handle J is even more draining..

His tantrums!! Ah!! Tires me out...
I'm not giving up.. its just that.. d support is never there.. no matter watever i did .. to help him.. is never supported by the youknowwho..
It is so frustrating...
It is so not fair that i have to spend more time on him and waste my teachingtime to discipline him.. disrupt my lessons.. always!! I hate it!!

Well i guess whateverdoesnt kill me makes me stronger..

Pay aint great.. long hours..
Arghhhh i used to love what i'm doing.. but now..

*sigh*
i guess i've change.. i wish i can just stay home and look after Ayubi 24/7..
But i guess.. that will only happen in my dreams for now =(...

Right n Wrong...

I am so so worried...

I guess wat Papa said is true.. maybe there r reasons to why 'he' is being treated this way...

i was shocked.. to see something that i rather not see coming from someone close to me..

d feeling was urgh!! i dunno should i cry.. laugh or jus keep mum.. i was so angry.. sad n disappointed..

i gave him a tongue lashing.. of coz he panicked when i found out.. tried to make excuses.. but i know him too well..

i m so so worried.. this is just not d time.. not yet.. we don wan to deal wif this now..

i guess 'he' has to be ban from this home.. for the time being..

i dunno how to react if i should see him d next time... look so kesian.. so innocent.. so wronged.. but then.. its not the truth..

i m so so worried...i dun wan this attitude this 'teachings' of his to be passed around.. no i dun wan...

Papa brought this family up with blood tears n sweat.. instilled d right values.. d right and the wrongs and no way m i gonna let 'he' destroy it...

Just no way....

Jacob Ballas Garden

Had half a day @ Jacob Ballas Garden wif d kids..
Regrets didnt bring Ayubi there =(
Mayb this wkend..missing him already..

Ayubi n Grandpa

I love watching Papa and AYubi bonding together..
Papa is just like Tok Ayah..
Very much..

Hmmm wonder how's Papa coping with my active clockwork..
They're out.. visiting Cik Din =)
Hmmm wonder wat that uncle of mine has to say when he meets Ayubi..
He's a grandfather now..
He should behave better.insya allah..

Sleepless on a Wednesday Nite

I am so critical here..i cant help i t..
Made me regret being so willing ..yes mayb i had no choice .. but i could have made the choice that i wanted .. i didnt make that choice .. n it just adds on ...

I couldnt sleep last night ..i miss nenek ..mental pictures of her .. her voice ..kept coming back to me ..
D episode where i had complications during Ayubi's birth ..i remembered .. waking up and saw her at the foot of the bed .. crying .. i couldnt help crying myself .. i was so scred .. lost dunno whats gonna happen ...she cried .. n cried..
D episode where .. i had cold chendol .. and she said 'Nenek bilang Mokhsen, Aries munim air sejuk ...' i rebutted, 'Abih Nenek minum kopi .. nanti Aries bilang Cik Yah'...=) brought tears and smiles at d same time ..

Its sad to see things happening after her departure .. some were for d better ...some... was not a nice sight to c or even stories to hear ... it sure disappoints me .. ah well ... this is the harsh reality of life ...

al fateha buat nenek ..
we miss u =(

Saturday @ Kampung Glam

My lil fam went to Arab St.. to get material for d coming Raya.
aha puasa belum.. baju raya dah buat.. kiasuness..
As usual Momo cannot stand my haggling over d diff materials..
he and Ayubi waited for me by the roadside..
Me being a woman.. took my time choosing the materials..
In d end.. pick the same as Buddy's but in diff colour..

No plans for d day.. so decided to take a walk along Arab St.
I remembered when i was young.. Papa n Mama.. would take me and Nana..
To arab st.. to walk walk.. i remembered d bakul2 shop.. the bakul2 shop is still there now..we would walk and take photos of the old shophouses..Papa would tell us stories about shophouses ..who stays there.. some snippets of history that he know..
Hmmmm Papa.. a sucker for histories.. n politics hahaha

So we walked..wanted to have a tour of d SUltan Mosque.. but was not in the proper attire=( Ayubi pointed here and there.. mumbling in his own language..
Went to Kampung Glam..wanted to view d gallery there.. before realising that we don have enough cash.. dat is the thing abt me n Momo.. we rely too much on our atm cards ...we don withdraw money coz we always have this thinking that we can find an atm nearby.. well tough luck for us this time..
So wat was left for us to do? Hmm just walk around.. Ayubi wanted to be carried ..didnt wanna walk..

'Ayah, ri pls' --> Ayah carry pls
so we umpan him wif the umbrella i brought along (d sky was grey u c..)
Told him thats it's an umbrella.. he mumbled mumbled..

'wah wah..'

His favourite..most tods favourite.. water 'Ay.ey..ayey..'

Made him walk on d grass but he ran quickly to Momo..

AFter all that.. went Clementi for late lunch.. n home sweet home..
Wanted to fetch Cik Ida back from HongKong..but Ush came.. Mama's asleep so we had to entertain them... Ayubi called Iin 'Adik adik..' like he is d abang.. ahhaha

The Many Strollers..

My hands' itching again..to get Ayubi.. a new stroller hahah
Papa is sure gonna yell at me..
Currently Ayubi is using Quinny Zapp.. though it folds to like an arm's length..
its heavy..
And kinda diff to carry ard if i'm out alone with him..
He has a Maclaren Volo at his Nenek's house for those short trips to the market..
And another Quinny Speedi in a box hahaha..
It was a present from his Ummie and Grandma.. nak jual sayang..
So still in a box..hmmmm
Tot of getting the Maclaren quest mod.. hmmm
Hmmmmm

26th June 08 Thurs Mama's bday..

Mama and Papa..hmmm i so so wanna be like them..d happier parts..d giler2 parts...


Mama n her only son...


Mama and her 2 daughters.. 1 big 1 small ahhaha

Momo and Hams.. not around.. both night shift...

Papa bought her the cake..we bought her a batignolle.. kopak sak..but ok la once a yr.. hahhaha love u Mama..though u sometimes like d wind.. often angin hehehe

The New Member..

After much deliberation..

Welcome to another gadget to add to my collection of gadgets..

-ariessen.ayubi-

hmmm i think thats the last purchase for this month...oooopps..

Urgent Leave wif Bi

Fetched Bi last night..
Auntie said he was running a slight fever.. but boy was he still active!
Miss my Bi.. he was excited to go home..
Sat in the taxi..ooohing..and ahiiing at things...
My clever Bi..
At home.. no more fever.. but the runs... ooh.. poor Bi.. but he was cool..
Everytime he pooed.. he would just say 'Yak yak...' and would head to the toilet..tugging his diapers..
Took urgent leave today..to care for my sick Bi.. fever back again.. vomitted once and runs again..
Was so afraid that he would get stomach flu.. but it all died down by late noon.. so wasnt worried as much..
Time spent at home wif him.. priceless..
We kinda got in a routine.. woke up.. play.. breakfast.. milk then sleep...
Wake up... shower... play..play..lunch...then sleep...
He is such a pleasure to watch...
He fed himself for breakfast today.. was fun to watch him.. hahaha though it gets messy..
Its common ..like d todds in sch...
My Bi.. growing up =)

..SCooop..Scooopp...

In yer mouth..

..Plenty of water to wash down all that food...

..Let's surf the web... like Ibu

..Don forget yer sunnies when you go out!..

Miss him..

Though.. we had 2 solid days with Ayubi..
I think it wasnt enough... i'm missing him now and am contemplating of picking him up and bringing him home.. but Momo has to send him back tomoro mornin.. n i'm afraid Momo would be too tired to do so.. =(..
Hmmmm

I miss u Bibi..